A Spork in the Road

Yeah, I know, I know. I’m not posting enough. I know.

Chemo hit me a little harder this round, mostly fatigue. I have a theory (I always have a theory) that I’m getting mini migraines — I’ve been experiencing vision problems (blind spots, halos) that seem an awful lot like migraine auras, and they tend to occur shortly before I get a headache.

Feeling better this week, though, and trying to sort out the genuine fatigue from the oh-my-god-I’m-almost-halfway-through freaking out.

I’ll post again soon. I PROMISE.

Tomorrow I have chemo # 5. I’ll drive in a relatively new vehicle to an air-conditioned building where I will sit in an easy chair and work on my laptop while I receive chemo through the most comfortable means available today.

Meanwhile, daily life is intolerable for entire populations around the world.

Such knowledge puts things in perspective.

Take 10 minutes to learn a little bit about Doctors Without Borders’ Top 10 Humanitarian Crises of 2008.

This certainly does not diminish my own experience; as Maureen says, it’s not a competition. But I believe a global perspective is crucial, and it has the added bonus of helping us avoid self-pity.

Bonus points to the reader who can identify for me this quote:

If you’re feeling helpless, help someone else.

We’ve started juicing this week, and it’s grand. Tasty and nutritious!

I’m also developing a relationship with aloe vera juice. It’s definitely an effective laxative, but I’m in the process of investigating the myriad other claims made by aloe vera proponents. It’s always difficult to sort out “close-minded medical establishment ignores effective naturopathic remedy” vs. “empty-headed quacks promote modern-day snake oil,” so the jury’s out on this one. I’m doing my reading and will probably report back once I have a handle on the whole thing.

Regardless, I like this kind of juicy better than the juicy I get on chemo days…

I discovered fatigue last night. Not that I haven’t had days where I felt tired, but this was the first time I appreciated the power of real Fatigue. Like, “I have a life-threatening disease and am going through a tough treatment regimen” Fatigue.

I spent a good day working, had a light supper, spent some time reading, started to feel antsy. “I know!” thought I. “Let’s clean up the living room!” I found “The Matrix” on cable and let Neo discover his true destiny while I moved Lil’s drums into the new music room. That got me sweating a little, but then I started to vacuum.

Now, vacuuming is decent exercise, especially in a largish room with lots of dog hair, but it’s not exactly mountain climbing. So it got my attention when, after vacuuming half the room, I had to sit down because I was drenched in sweat and had a truly astounding headache.

Read the rest of this entry »

In a moment, I’m going to ramble about high-value tasks vs. low-value tasks and the role of inefficiency in the creative process, but first:

It’s a bright and beautiful Saturday morning, and I’ve slept off most of my steroid hangover. I feel a little prickly and achy from the poisons still coursing through my veins, but mentally I’m more alert today than yesterday and feeling positive.

On chemo Fridays I tend to have the intellectual force of a radish.

Read the rest of this entry »